Do you have a nickname? I do.

I managed to go through the first 20 years of my life without one, though. Despite my full name being “Amanda” I have been given the following nicknames.

• “Panda” for obvious reasons.  It rhymes with “Amanda”
• “Dina” which later evolved into “D”
• “Poopy” which somehow (d)evolved into “poop queen.” (I unpack that one on my Instagram)

So, what makes a nickname so special? And how can we use terms of endearment to connect with the young adults we work with? 

A lot of linguistic research focuses on the use of nicknames in families. One article says, “The use of a nickname may be indicative of the speaker’s attitude toward the addressee… ‘Terms of endearment’ are generally considered significant mechanisms for sustaining the family’s relational web.” (Kulka & Katriel, 1991)

Many of the youth we work with have complicated family histories, or no connection to their biological families at all. This means that having or using an endearing nickname can be an opportunity for rebuilding an identity that was never provided to them.

A nickname also communicates the feeling that,“no matter what happens, you are always dear to me.” 

If we, as mentors, caregivers and friends, can use these terms of endearment to call out the good that we see in our youth, we can build interpersonal relationships that center youth around their inherent self-worth and their God-given identity. 

As we use nicknames, we can also build a connected community that even linguistically reflects the idea of family.

Having a name that only your dearest friends know, or that just your mentor and you call each other, is a connecting experience. Adding endearing nicknames to your daily work with youth can be a great practical step to calling out the individual greatness in them.

Some other nicknames around our office include:

• Angel
• Boss lady
• Poopy
• Bean
• The manager

Our country also uses cute animal names for nicknames. What are your favorite endearing terms or nicknames? Let us know!